Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The time is near...

My time here is coming to an end. I didn't realize but my actually D-day is April 12th. I'm going to leave my family early Easter morning and go to the mountains near me and meditate and just be quiet or take a hike in silence. No phone, no music, etc.

I will then begin my new life with a Easter Brunch with the family. I'm so happy to be able to treat my mother, nephews, and niece to a nice brunch with Eric and Kaila. We're going to the marina to this restaurant Eric, Kaila, and I ate at recently. It was nice and relaxing there and the atmosphere was no nice as well.

I've been a bit busy lately with school, work, Kaila's school, playing mom and wife, etc. that I felt like I was going off track but that is ok because I got right back on track.

I feel I've gained so much from this Year to Live practice and I hope to continue to grow and be more and more at peace in my life and never have any regrets!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Thinking Back...

I was going through some pictures today, looking for pictures from my father when I came across these old ones of Kaila. I can't believe she's 8 already! Where has the time gone??? I'm just so grateful she's part of my life!
Kaila after our trip to Hawaii
My angel Kaila
Can you feel the love she had for ballet
1st day of preschool
Yes, this gangsta look courtesy of her father lolI love this photo of her just being a kid
Kaila being goofy
another 1st day of preschool

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Comfort Zone...

Yesterday I attended a birthday get together / party for a friend of mine who is from Israel and most (ok all) of her friends in attendance were from Israel as well. This being said at first almost everyone (unless they were talking to me) was talking in Hebrew until the "real talk" began. Finally some English lol. At that point I really wish I understood Hebrew.
Still, the talk was amazing and it's funny that we all hear what we need to hear and I loved the honesty of my friend who recently went through some "life changes" and was able to discuss them with all of us, openly, which showed us that we may not always get along with everyone, or that when we need certain people back in our lives they are there. We talked about Forgiveness and how unless we forgive we are the one feeling the pain and misery. Usually the other person is over it.
We also talked about what I call "random acts of kindness" you know doing for others and expecting nothing back. We all need to do this more I believe. I think sometimes, I know for myself I get very busy and forget to help others in different ways. It can be as easy as listening when someone is going through something and just really listening or it can be something we never thought we'd do but in the moment it feels just right to do. I think it helps with the give and take in our lives.
At the end of the night we were all given a road block in our lives to work on. It's funny I grabbed "Need to Control". Now I know that can be a problem for me but I plan on working on it more. Those women were so honest and open and it was nice to find that kind of comfort in the end when I felt so out of my comfort zone when I arrived. It was neat that my friend had a teacher there because she wanted to give for her birthday. Give her friends the chance to work on themselves and feel great about themselves. It was neat that all these women, there were like 20 of them were so open with each other. It reminded me of dinners and coffee on Fridays with my girlfriends and it was nice to feel that again.
My point in all this is that I knew there would be language barriers but instead, a friend invited me over for her birthday, I was able to get out of myself and my worry, and be a friend to her and celebrate her. I didn't let fear get in my way...

Monday, March 9, 2009

About a month to go....

I missed my last Year To Live group. I wasn't feeling well yesterday and it was best that I rested. I've been very busy since starting school and I think I just had a physical melt down yesterday starting with waking via a migraine. Everyone is supposed to be getting together April 18th so I know I can attend that. I emailed/called one of the facilitators and let them know what was going on.

I was actually excited about going because I had done some more of wanted I wanted to do before I "die". I also am taking off my "death day" and just having a a day of meditation and rest. Just to be alone with me. I'm actually looking forward to it.

I've gotten so much out of this practice including being ok with me and the choices I make. I've been having some "fears" about my ballet class. I'm a note junkie. I feel that if you take notes you can do anything your taught. We are also encouraged to take notes during class so we don't look like we're not learning anything. However; I felt like I was the only one answering questions Thursday and I felt like the "know it all" or the "suck up" and I wasn't, I just want to get a good grade and do this class right. Not being in school for 15 years and I really want to get the most out of it. I got over that feeling pretty quick because I'm there again, for me and nobody else.

I'm so grateful to have done this over the past year and with a bit less than a month to go I'm looking forward to all that happens.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Big Bear 2009

We're back to our regular scheduled lives....We had a blast in Big Bear. I got to snowboard a teeny tiny bit and you know that was fine. Miss Kaila wasn't enjoying snowboarding so much so we just stopped.
We went tubbing though and at $25.00 a pop I thought that was crazy. Seeing though this may have actually been my last trip to Big Bear we splurged a bit.

I'm glad I accomplished another fear. I have a bruised shoulder but nothing broken and a lovely sunburn from the snow (WOO HOO) but all in all it was a great family time by all.

I have a bit more than a month left on this YTL and I've been told by some they see really big changes in me. I really feel everyone should do this practice just once in their life. It really makes you value and see what is important in your life.

Here's a couple pics of the family adventures. Kaila really enjoyed being in the snow and yes, I enjoyed a snowball fight in flip flops (I know you can't take the So. Cal gal out of me).