Sunday, January 18, 2009


a Billboard just says it all.......

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Final Three Months

So I'm here at Starbucks working on my "Last Will & Testament". I'm at the final three months of this practice I've been doing and it's time to start my Good-Bye process. It's interesting that when actually preparing this document who I think of when it comes to receiving my items or my beloved things that right now I would not part with. There are some people receiving things that are a given but I've left my books to someone I haven't spoken to in some time. Well between her and my daughter. It shows me that even though people grow apart when it comes down to it, who I trust to take care of my possessions who I chose. I trust this individual that if I want certain things kept and not given away that she would take care of them. I really got a warm feeling when I typed her name onto the document.

It is a bit scary writing this up because I really don't plan on dying in April but it will be good to be prepared because we really don't know what will happen day to day. I've been in two major car accidents that I didn't expect either time and well it feels good that even though it is for this practice I'm looking at what I'd like done in the event God forbid something happened to me before what I feel would be my time to go.

If I've learned anything thus far about myself through this practice is that I've had to do a lot of telling myself I'm not how I really feel about myself, that feelings really aren't fact, I'm right where I need to be, I'm not as bad as I think I can be, and I have to give myself a lot more credit than I do. I've been working more with my sponsor on this as well and I feel even with some set backs I'm doing much better taking care of me then I have in a long time.

These next three months are going to be so interesting and I'm looking forward to every minute of it!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Vegas....No More

Yes, I enjoy Vegas and maybe a bit too much. My goal was to enjoy myself and relax. Yes, I did spa treatments but I have a bit of a problemo with the slot machines lol. I know that unlike Eric I want to just take more money out of the ATM and not that I don't have the money but I believe everyone has limits and well, I'm not good at limits which is something I'm working on. I'm also on a mission to buy a home so spending more than allotted on a trip doesn't help the home fund.

On a lighter note in the Vegas yesterday we saw LOVE and it was excellent. It was neat how they went through the years of The Beatles. Very worth seeing. I found out we had seats in the VIP area which was nice too. We had the best view in the house. I'm glad we saw it because I've now seen everything I need to in Vegas and I stayed at the Bellagio one last time. Eric says maybe we can come every couple of years but I don't feel comfortable. In my years of recovery I've learned if I don't feel comfortable 100% somewhere to not be there and right now this is Vegas for me. I don't care if it sounds stupid. I'm trying to be proactive.
The moral of my story is I can't say no to gambling, I know this and going forward relaxing will be going to Big Bear or other places with quiet Bed & Breakfast Inns where I can actually relax...My goal was to do a lot of reading, that didn't happen.
Below are some pictures of our trip to Vegas, well the first couple of days....

The View from our room, it was like being in Paris, ok maybe not

I love the ceiling art at The Bellagio

I clean up nicely...I dressed up for LOVE and it was like 38 degrees when this picture was taken but I wanted a picture of me dressed up lol

Eric and I before LOVE. See the jacket (YES I now own a jacket after the suggestion of a couple people) because it was too cold out

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Really...No Complaints Here

As I sat here looking at the top news stories for 2008 I realize how lucky I/We really do have it here in the United States. There was so much fighting & Natural disasters around the world this past year and even when we have something horribly go wrong (not that I'm looking for it) but still it seems we all pull together and get through it.

Here is a picture of Palestinian children playing together. To think these kids and kids in Israel have come to accept (maybe not accept) but come to know that fighting happens quite often is pretty sad. I'd hate for my child to have to live with the fact we may be a war at anytime. It can happen but luckily she's never had to be in fear of her life and I hope to keep it that way.

This year I hope to see a few more happy stories around the world. I know the media loves to show what's going wrong but I hope to see a bit more of what could be going right....

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Goals......One Down!!

What better way to start off the New Year then by enrolling at Santa Monica Community College. I'm so excited!!!! Here's a part of my welcome letter from them:

"WELCOME TO SANTA MONICA COLLEGE! Congratulations on your admission to Santa Monica College. You will be joining an academic community focused on helping you meet your educational goals."

Can we say oober happy!! I've been so lucky to find jobs where I make very good money and I'm making more money now then I have ever have. I make more than people with degrees and well, even though that is nice I never graduated high school and that is one of my goals that I just kept putting off.

I'm no longer putting off anything that means a lot to me. Ok, I may take breaks because my goal is also to get more rest but my time has come and I'm so happy to do this. This community college offers classes to get your High School Diploma. I haven't enrolled in those classes yet but I did enroll in Ballet....I will be doing the rest of my enrollment this Thursday....

More updates to come and I can't wait to be able to tell my daughter that I did finish school. This is just the beginning...I will get my degree in music one day too....Well, that is my goal! Stay Tuned...