Two Months To Go....

Last Valentines Day, Last first day of school, etc. etc.

I'm down to the last two months of my life (so to speak). My intention is to spend this next month with my family trying to do as much fun stuff as we can without going crazy being busy. Really that may be a problem since I'm always on the go but I do have some ideas that can be realistic:

1. Eric and I are going to the spa for Valentines Day getting Hot Stone Massages...Can't wait and we're having lunch at Market City Cafe my favorite place to eat. Seems like it will be a nice and relaxing Valentines Day. Who knows we're talking about more tattoo's, you never know..

2. I want to spend the day up in Big Bear. I'm shooting for a couple of weeks from now. Even if it's just an overnight trip. I really want to play with Kaila in the snow.

3. One last trip to the secret beach....It's a great place for our family. We have a lot of fun there.

The point for the next month is to have more fun and commit to less where it takes out of my normal to do weekly.

I've taken care of my will, planned my memorial, and am starting to feel like I'm ok if I were to have two months less.

Interesting though that this practice has actually got me looking forward more to my future. I didn't think I would be starting school next week and working less (by choice) but you know walking through fears is what I've been doing this past 10 months and I thank this practice for helping me get through and try things I didn't think I'd do.

I'm also going to start at least once a month going to a assisted living facility and giving more of me. It's easy to donate money but I want to be there for others. My aunt was alone a lot in her assisted living and I would never want to feel alone when my life was declining so I think it will be nice to be there for others. It's part of the practice but it really stood out to me especially with going through the death of my aunt this past July.

More to follow..............

Math & English...Oh My

So I took my Math and English assessments for Santa Monica College. Now I'm doing their High School program and I hope that when I'm done with it I can re-take the Math portion. Seriously I did so bad and I knew I would. On a lighter prettier note I rocked the English portion. I'm very happy about that.

I did it. I walked through more fear, played student, got stuck in rain traffic, but I did it and I'm so happy I did.

More school updates to follow...School starts the 17th and I can't wait!

Fear....

I saw this great quote on fear that was sent to me via email....

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear....Mark Twain

Friday we had a family emergency which is neither here nor there and I was in fear for numerous people in my family. I could have reacted being all upset but that would have gotten everyone nowhere. Instead, I walked through the fear and was able to be a big sister to my brother and a daughter to my mother when they both needed me most.

Things still aren't 100% but I've learned that not running from my fears is a great thing and there is growth there. I'm in no rush to be in constant fear but I do know, now, that I can get through it as I did Friday and Saturday...with grace and dignity.