Three Days...

Down to the final three days of this life.

Yesterday we attended the funeral of my bosses mother. Ruth Netter was an amazing woman and the stories told about her were so nice to hear. She always wanted to know how others were doing before she talked about herself. That's cool and something we should all do. I know there are and were times where out of nervousness or selfishness that I would just start talking about me and well, lately it's been nice to see how others are doing. I've been doing that for some time now but it was nice to be reminded of it.

Passover was a good time and Kaila for the first time got really involved in the Seder. She read and really was proud of herself. By the end of the evening while everyone discussed LOST which I could really care less about Kaila and I chilled on the couch, made funny faces, and took lots of pictures of ourselves. I personally think we were having more fun!!

I'm working today and have a midterm in my ballet class. I will then be doing something for me tonight. Probably just relaxing at home. Eric and Kaila are going to Magic Mountain which I hate and though I'd love to be with them that is one amusement park they can do alone. Now I'm thinking maybe I should have gone, that was one of my fears. Na, that is a fear I can get over next year. There's always room to grow.

I think the final two days are going to be a bit harder. I'm giving another letter tomorrow and we are both easy to cry so I will not have her read it while her and her husband aren't with us. I really can't believe the final two days are here. I've gotten so much out of this practice even when not doing it 100% because I did it for me. To change me a bit for the better and feel good about the life I have and I can see where I've done that.

About a month to go....

I missed my last Year To Live group. I wasn't feeling well yesterday and it was best that I rested. I've been very busy since starting school and I think I just had a physical melt down yesterday starting with waking via a migraine. Everyone is supposed to be getting together April 18th so I know I can attend that. I emailed/called one of the facilitators and let them know what was going on.

I was actually excited about going because I had done some more of wanted I wanted to do before I "die". I also am taking off my "death day" and just having a a day of meditation and rest. Just to be alone with me. I'm actually looking forward to it.

I've gotten so much out of this practice including being ok with me and the choices I make. I've been having some "fears" about my ballet class. I'm a note junkie. I feel that if you take notes you can do anything your taught. We are also encouraged to take notes during class so we don't look like we're not learning anything. However; I felt like I was the only one answering questions Thursday and I felt like the "know it all" or the "suck up" and I wasn't, I just want to get a good grade and do this class right. Not being in school for 15 years and I really want to get the most out of it. I got over that feeling pretty quick because I'm there again, for me and nobody else.

I'm so grateful to have done this over the past year and with a bit less than a month to go I'm looking forward to all that happens.

Two Months To Go....

Last Valentines Day, Last first day of school, etc. etc.

I'm down to the last two months of my life (so to speak). My intention is to spend this next month with my family trying to do as much fun stuff as we can without going crazy being busy. Really that may be a problem since I'm always on the go but I do have some ideas that can be realistic:

1. Eric and I are going to the spa for Valentines Day getting Hot Stone Massages...Can't wait and we're having lunch at Market City Cafe my favorite place to eat. Seems like it will be a nice and relaxing Valentines Day. Who knows we're talking about more tattoo's, you never know..

2. I want to spend the day up in Big Bear. I'm shooting for a couple of weeks from now. Even if it's just an overnight trip. I really want to play with Kaila in the snow.

3. One last trip to the secret beach....It's a great place for our family. We have a lot of fun there.

The point for the next month is to have more fun and commit to less where it takes out of my normal to do weekly.

I've taken care of my will, planned my memorial, and am starting to feel like I'm ok if I were to have two months less.

Interesting though that this practice has actually got me looking forward more to my future. I didn't think I would be starting school next week and working less (by choice) but you know walking through fears is what I've been doing this past 10 months and I thank this practice for helping me get through and try things I didn't think I'd do.

I'm also going to start at least once a month going to a assisted living facility and giving more of me. It's easy to donate money but I want to be there for others. My aunt was alone a lot in her assisted living and I would never want to feel alone when my life was declining so I think it will be nice to be there for others. It's part of the practice but it really stood out to me especially with going through the death of my aunt this past July.

More to follow..............

On Overload but ahhh in the end....

So it's been a crazy couple of months for me. I've had the rehearsals with K's school for Peter Pan and the fundraiser for the company I work for.

I did so much that my poor body went into overload....

I did the make-up for Peter Pan and here's some of my handy work. I did pretty well for a first timer if you ask me.. OK so not the best quality but it's from my cell phone...K was a mermaid and well, here she is with another of the mermaids in the official make-up room. I didn't really like their make-up but I tried at the dress rehearsal and this was the night of and I guess everyone struggled with the mermaids but the girls thought they looked beautiful and that was all that mattered..

So with the play over all that was left was the fundraiser. This is something I went into expecting so much more of it. I believed all fundraisers with auctions like at K's school had to be well put on. So when I found out how not together last years one was and how much fun it was I had to just sit back and let it be what it was going to be and well, it seems everyone had a great time! I even won the items from the silent auction that I wanted (: I've received numerous emails about what a great job I did which again goes to show, stop being so serious and have fun needs to be my mantra.

With the busy life I had I thought I'd take the day off yesterday. My work got me a gift Certificate to RA Organic Spa where I enjoyed a relaxing bath with fruit and flowers. During my bath I enjoyed some fresh Thai Coconut milk and after the bath it was off for a 90 minute facial where I could just relax. It was so nice to just take care of me.

Here I am after the facial / spa treatments.. I'm trying to practice not thinking negative thoughts of myself and just accepting me for who I am. This is me in the raw. At 32 and I feel not aging too bad. This practicing accepting me for me is a hard one but one I am doing it a bit by bit daily. I notice that I'm a bit shiny from the facial lol.

All in all I survived the past two months. I leave this weekend for the annual retreat I attend. I'm so excited to be getting more rest and spending some time with some women I adore and get some rest along with working a bit more on myself.

I DID IT!!!! I LOST 100 LBS.!!!

Oh Yeah!!! I lost 100 lbs. officially today, Christmas Eve, one day short of my Christmas goal.

A day of rest....

It started last night with a date to see Sweeney Todd and getting in late helped me to finally sleep in and....

Oh the house is so quiet....Yes, I've been a bum all day and loving it. I've watched Red Dragon, napped, played on E's new cell phone, read email, napped some more, and when I'm done with this post, yes I will nap again until 3PM. E is out and it's just me and Christmas T.V.

I really don't miss K, OK I miss her but I'm enjoying doing nada today but being a bum.

Tonight we have E & my b-day dinners with our parents and his family. That should be nice. I love gazpacho and E's mother is making it for my b-day.

Well, off to my nap. Just had to post for me to see that I've had a day for me (:

Brownies, Plays, Gymnastics, OH MY

I'm one to take on too much at times but I also want the best for my daughter. While she is willing to participate in activities outside of school I feel I should help her out. Yet, it seems this time of year with the holidays approaching (Hanukkah already started) I feel over busy! I so do not see how other mothers juggle school, work, Brownies, School Plays, Gymnastics, and yes, now she wants to do ballet.

It's also that time where I'm grateful to have my husband. Sure he can't be a Brownie Troop Leader (the whole male thing) and he can't take her to Gymnastics or Ballet (I think his patients would be upset if he weren't there) but he can help me put packets together, make phone calls, make copies, etc.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention I'm the room parent with another mom but it seems though she's a stay at home mom that I am the main room parent.

Next year I plan on taking on a lot less. This is NOT a poor Katherine blog post. This is a priorities post. I try and do everything and be everywhere but the point is I'm a mom first for K and I need to be there for her. This week alone is crazy....from a flower in Alice in Wonderland to the class party Friday I'm a busy lady and I have me to take care of. I've been putting of taking care of me so I've set up some me time this week. I've also been taking care of our home and don't want to lose sight of that as well.

So, for those of you reading this who are my "real life" friends I love ya all but it's really time this whole mommy thing is coming into play with my popular seven year old who wants to do everything lol.

Oh yeah, and not to forget my "YOU HAVE TO DO THIS" stuff, I've started carrying lists. I did this last week and it helped so this week should go well too.

Have a great week all and to all of you with kiddos: Enjoy them while they let you enjoy spending time with them (:

P.S. K has earned six stars for her gymnastics class. They sent home a chart and when there is a star in every area she moves onto the next level. Go K!

Exercise sucks but....

Ok, so I will edit this daily to update the days I do exercise. I've just called LA Fitness and they're open until 2PM so I will be going in today. That is my first entry...I will eat breakfast with E and K and then I'm off to the gym. Stay tuned for future edits to this entry....

11.22.07 - Oh yeah baby...for the first time in my history I went to the gym on Thanksgiving and did 1.6 miles in 20 min. I even jogged at 5.0 for 3 minutes. 3.0 is too slow for me now. I know I'm no super jogger but it's progress baby!

11.24.07 - I will update what I accomplish later but I will be at the gym sometime today or I will go to the Zoo and do a ton of walking....Let's see how this day turns out. I skipped yesterday because I was shopping alot...Does that count as exercise lol.
11.24.07 - So the Zoo it was. I even got a stroller to make the walk even more enjoyable and pushing K I hope helped my muscles. I then went shopping for home stuff and groceries and pushing that heavy cart I believe helped as well. Until next time.

11.28.07 - My goal to get to the gym today. We'll see if I make it...I'm so tired and it's so cold.

12.08.07 - I've sucked at exercise since November 22nd using the excuse I'm so busy. However; today being cold and all I'm going to Cardio Kickboxing for the last time since the class will be over. I think I'll sign up for a dance class next time. Anywho, I will try my best to exercise daily busy or not!