Turning it over...

For the past ten years there have been two women that I generally run my crazy minds thoughts through. I've been going through a lot lately spiritually and with the surgery I had to have recently well, it made me question things even more. So, if you know me it means my mind went into overload.

I explained that nightly my new fear isn't earthquakes but it's dying. I'm afraid I won't wake up. I think this past surgery for me, with the pain I felt prior, to the internal bleeding scare helped me to realize NO ONE lives forever and yes, life's short, and yes I've been feeling this way a while BUT I'm scared of the unknown.

It was reminded to me that death is the big unknown, which is true. When I go back to school I want to study different religions but also I joked there should be a class that studies death. You know I told her however there will not be anyone to teach it because really..once you're gone you're gone. No one will come back and give a lecture on what death is like.

This week my mission is to create a God Box. I've learned (I guess the hard way) that sometimes for me reaching out to my Higher Power isn't enough. I have to PHYSICALLY give away what I need help with. This doesn't mean I've failed at praying or anything it just means there will be things I have to really get rid of. The women who I spoke with suggested a God Can because "God Can" and "I can't". Made sense and seemed neat. I will create this God Can today or at least start on it and finish it by tomorrow.

There is so much I want to accomplish in this lifetime. My husband reminded me that we're ok last night. That me not working isn't the end of the world and that I should be doing things to take care of me. I have options today and well, that's nice. I hope that I learn more on this journey of life and that things that do scare me don't bring me down. Life won't always be easy and there are health scares. I think that this last situation took me for a loop. The pain was like nothing I never felt and everything that happend after well, really scared me.

I'm ok today and today will be a great day!

It's all working out...

So yes, I'm still employed as of this weekend (:

Ms. Boss lady has decided to keep me for three more weeks to do a project for one of their clients. See I am the original person who worked on it and well, it's a job for the next three weeks!

What's super cool for me is that I don't have to drive to the Valley except for Fridays!

I've been given a company cell phone, email, and will be reimbursed for expenses. Yes, the comfort of my home with music or the Nick at Night channel as my background noise, instead of office noise.

I do have an interview this Tuesday for my daughters after school program and it could be a large pay cut but a lot less stress and better work hours and possibly summers off.

Everyday is a new journey so I'm off for today's....Universal Studios, Dinner, and The Pasadena Playhouse to end the night...I'm loving this really letting go and just being!