Sometimes....

a Billboard just says it all.......

Final Three Months

So I'm here at Starbucks working on my "Last Will & Testament". I'm at the final three months of this practice I've been doing and it's time to start my Good-Bye process. It's interesting that when actually preparing this document who I think of when it comes to receiving my items or my beloved things that right now I would not part with. There are some people receiving things that are a given but I've left my books to someone I haven't spoken to in some time. Well between her and my daughter. It shows me that even though people grow apart when it comes down to it, who I trust to take care of my possessions who I chose. I trust this individual that if I want certain things kept and not given away that she would take care of them. I really got a warm feeling when I typed her name onto the document.

It is a bit scary writing this up because I really don't plan on dying in April but it will be good to be prepared because we really don't know what will happen day to day. I've been in two major car accidents that I didn't expect either time and well it feels good that even though it is for this practice I'm looking at what I'd like done in the event God forbid something happened to me before what I feel would be my time to go.

If I've learned anything thus far about myself through this practice is that I've had to do a lot of telling myself I'm not how I really feel about myself, that feelings really aren't fact, I'm right where I need to be, I'm not as bad as I think I can be, and I have to give myself a lot more credit than I do. I've been working more with my sponsor on this as well and I feel even with some set backs I'm doing much better taking care of me then I have in a long time.

These next three months are going to be so interesting and I'm looking forward to every minute of it!

Vegas....No More

Yes, I enjoy Vegas and maybe a bit too much. My goal was to enjoy myself and relax. Yes, I did spa treatments but I have a bit of a problemo with the slot machines lol. I know that unlike Eric I want to just take more money out of the ATM and not that I don't have the money but I believe everyone has limits and well, I'm not good at limits which is something I'm working on. I'm also on a mission to buy a home so spending more than allotted on a trip doesn't help the home fund.

On a lighter note in the Vegas yesterday we saw LOVE and it was excellent. It was neat how they went through the years of The Beatles. Very worth seeing. I found out we had seats in the VIP area which was nice too. We had the best view in the house. I'm glad we saw it because I've now seen everything I need to in Vegas and I stayed at the Bellagio one last time. Eric says maybe we can come every couple of years but I don't feel comfortable. In my years of recovery I've learned if I don't feel comfortable 100% somewhere to not be there and right now this is Vegas for me. I don't care if it sounds stupid. I'm trying to be proactive.

The moral of my story is I can't say no to gambling, I know this and going forward relaxing will be going to Big Bear or other places with quiet Bed & Breakfast Inns where I can actually relax...My goal was to do a lot of reading, that didn't happen.

Below are some pictures of our trip to Vegas, well the first couple of days....

The View from our room, it was like being in Paris, ok maybe not

I love the ceiling art at The Bellagio

I clean up nicely...I dressed up for LOVE and it was like 38 degrees when this picture was taken but I wanted a picture of me dressed up lol

Eric and I before LOVE. See the jacket (YES I now own a jacket after the suggestion of a couple people) because it was too cold out